I’m at my cabin. I’m back where it all started. Where we first met 18 years ago, where we first kissed last Christmas, where we first held hands under the blanket so that no one would know how much we liked each other. I’m back where we have had a lot of other firsts. But he’s not here with me tonight, and that pains me so much. He will be back home next week, and then it’ll be two months since we last saw each other. Since the last time the love of my life held me in his arms, kissed me on my forehead, and told me that he’d be back soon. Well, we’re way past soon, but I get to see him next week and even though he was supposed to come home for Easter and celebrate it with me and my family, his vacation days decided to piss on our plans and we had to postpone everything for another week. But I don’t care, because I get to have him all to myself for two weeks instead of just four days, and that is so much better! Tomorrow he’s doing car patrol which means he’ll be driving around for two hours, and we always talk when he’s on patrol. So tomorrow I get to talk to him for two hours, which I also did today, and even though it’s not the same as actually having him here next to me, it’s more than I could ever dream of right now, because we haven’t been able to talk for that long for weeks now because his schedule has been horrendous. I don’t know where I wanted to go with this, but I just really miss him, and being back here, where it all started, made me feel pretty emotional and lonely. I just miss him so god damn much. I miss my other half.
I wish my friends would take random pictures of me when we hang out because I’m an arrogant prick and I want more pictures of myself that aren’t selfies.
im so miserable but i laugh at everything
There is actually scientific reason behind this. Depressed people have a harder time controlling their laughter. That’s why depression is so hard to notice in a lot of people - they’re usually the ones who laugh the most.
TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”
Okay, so I have decided that I am going back to school. For those of you that didn’t know, I dropped out of school in 2012, and I have been working some and doing some internships since, But because I don’t really know what I wanna work with or even do with my life, it hasn’t really been consistent and I have just been wandering about at home trying to figure out what I wanna do with my life. But I still haven’t got a clue.
Okay so let me start off by telling you guys a bit about the Swedish school system, so that you aren’t completely lost when I tell you this story. At age 6, you start pre-school, then at age 7, you start first grade, and at age 8 you start second grade and so on, until you’re done with ninth grade, at age 15. Now you’re done with the mandatory part of school (we don’t have home schooling in Sweden, and it’s against the law to keeo your children out of school before they finish ninth grade). But yeah, then you start gymnasium. Which is pretty much like a mix between high school and college I would say. You choose your “major” (it’s not really a major), and then you take classes that are usually connected to this major. There are some majors that are more general than others, like for example Social Studies and Science, but I chose Media because I wanted to work with production and film. Okay so you go to gymnasium for three years and then you apply for universities and such, but after my first year of gymnasium, I did an exchange year in Nebraska, and when I came back, I realized that my minor, which was film- and tv production, was being shut down due to not enough people applying for it. So I had to study media communication/graphic art my second year, and it just wasn’t for me. And because I was already a year behind, because of my exchange year, and because a lot of other stupid factors made that school year miserable for me, I decided not to apply for another school, and just dropped out instead.
My life plan, until recently, was to move to London, and since we don’t have the same schooling system as they do, I didn’t need to “study up my grades” (as we say in Sweden, similiar to getting your GED in America). But since that plan got thrown in the trash a couple of months ago, I realized that I needed to get my shit straight about education and try to see what was out there, since it’s very important to have a gymnasium education here in Sweden when applying for jobs.
But since I have been an emotional rollercoaster lately due to my boyfriend being away, I kind of put that whole “applying for schools” thing on ice, and tonight, after a heart felt discussion with my dad and his wife, I figured that I would go back to school this fall.
The only problem is that I won’t make the deadline for applying, since it’s in four days and I don’t have my grades, and it’s Easter break in Sweden now so all schools are closed. So yeah, I pretty much blew it.
But I found this awesome course that’s 2 years long, called TV Production, and it’s in Stockholm, so it’s close to my boyfriend, and you get to intern at big production companies and I would get to study what I really wanna study. But the problem is that I have to have a gymnasium diploma to apply. And to get that, I have to get my GED, and that will take a year at least. So if I’m lucky, I could see how fast I could get my diploma, then HOPEFULLY be done by April 2015, and apply for the TV Production class. But even if I get accepted, I would have to move to Stockholm, and considering how often my boyfriend has to relocate in his job, he might not live there anymore, and considering it’s still a loooong time until this actually happens, we might not still be together, I mean I hope we are, but you never know.. I feel like this is too much, and I really wish I would’ve thought about all of this sooner, so that I don’t have to wait like FOREVER to apply again, but I feel like I’m really getting my life back on track, and hopefully it will all work out.
I think I’m gonna go to bed now, because all of this has been way too much for me and I need to sleep for a good 12 hours or so, so that I can meet my friend Elsa for lunch tomorrow and discuss all of this with her, because she also dropped out of school and then got her GED and is now like doing a bunch of cool stuff, like going to Florence by herself on vacation, just because she can. She’s awesome. And I hope that I can get out of this awful little bubble I’m in at the moment, and just focus on my own happiness for a while. Because I really feel like I deserve it.
If everything goes as planned, and he gets cleared by his employers, I get to see my baby in a week! Words can’t describe how much I’ve missed him! I haven’t seen him since March 3rd and it has been absolute torture! I miss him so much and I can’t wait to hold him and kiss his perfect lips again!
u know whats fuckin hardcore
people on this site who don’t speak english as a first language but blog in english anyways
Yay I’m hardcore!
Okay so yesterday I went downstairs to have icecream. Came up an hour later with no icecream. But I had made two liters of gazpacho and a kg of pasta salad (it has feta cheese, salami, gouda cheese, olives, arugula and sundried tomatoes in it and it’s the most delicious thing ever!). No fucking joke. And today I was supposed to clean my room, and I figured that I could transfer all my data from my current phone to my dad’s old one because my phone’s battery is fucked up, and so I sat down to do that so it could load as I was cleaning my room, but it took longer than I thought so now I’m sitting here an hour into this transfer sesh and I have hours left to make it work. I guess I am on a path to never do the things I set out to do in the first place. Good thing I don’t have work these next couple of weeks, I might actually do something productive.
THIS IS THE ONLY THING ON THE INTERNET I WILL EVERY PHYSICALLY LAUGH AT THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN LIFE THIS WILL LITERALLY BE THE END OF ME BURY ME WITH THIS
when i find myself in times of trouble
ellen degeneres comes to me
whenever I’m traveling I always get tripped out at the fact that this is someone’s actual hometown like they know every back road and how to get everywhere and they’ve probably had tons of memories in this citybut I’m just someone passing by